Back In
by sweetlylaughing
Summary: Following 'Countdown', Neal is sent back to prison. How will he cope? What happens now Neal is back with some of his enemies? What's Neal got planned? You won't see what's coming. Even at the end. Friendship. Complete! Prequel to next story, Solitary.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: White Collar belongs to Jeff Eastin

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><p><strong>Prologue<strong>

There was no coming back from this now. Neal had been in his fair share of sticky situations but now Peter knew the truth - all this time he had gone behind Peter's back and lied about the treasure, and now it had blown up in his face. El had been kidnapped by Keller.

"Peter... I'm sorry. I never meant for El to get involved!" Neal pleaded to Peter.

"You got her involved when you took the treasure! When you lied to me! When you put the hit on Keller!" shouted Peter angrily at his consultant.

"I never did that! Mozzie stole the treasure! I - "

"I don't care! It's all the same. Now you're going to help me and I'll decide what to do with you after."

Neal went along with the plan - he owed a great debt to Peter and El seeing as he was responsible for this whole fiasco. But in the back of his mind, he secretly hoped that if he rescued El, things would return to normal and everything would just blow over.

The operation was straightforward enough, Neal acting as bait, Peter hiding in the bushes and the rest of the team working on tracking down El's whereabouts. In the end, Keller got away with the treasure, El was rescued. Everyone was happy.

**WCWCWCWCWC**

"We did good out there, didn't we, Peter?"

"Yeah. It was always good working with you" said Peter emotionlessly.

Neal was shocked. "Was?"

"Yeah. I've given you too many chances and you keep throwing them back in my face like it's nothing. I've gone always out on a limb for you and how do you repay me?" Peter's face had now livened.

"But think of our closure rate! I told you, I chose to stay! Doesn't that mean anything? I've changed. I truly have. I've never trusted anyone before I met you."

"Well trust is a two way road. You're just a con. Goodbye Neal." Peter turned away, moving back to his office.

His words resonated in Neal's ears and silenced his complaints. Neal was always good at running but this time, he couldn't run from the truth.

Metal bars slammed home the truth. He was back in

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><p><em>Thanks for reading! Please review! Any feedback that you have will be much appreciated :)<em>

_I'm hoping to post up a chapter a day._


	2. Chapter 1

_I didn't feel good just teasing you guys with the prologue, so here's the next chapter. Hopefully it gives you a little more about the story._

_Disclaimer: White Collar belongs to Jeff Eastin._

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

Neal had never had any trouble in prison before. With his charms and connections, he had always stayed out of trouble and made more friends than enemies. He'd even had the guards onside last time he was inside. But 3 years is a long time in the prison world, and things change in those 3 years.

WCWCWCWCWCWCWC

Whispers surrounded Neal as he entered to get his breakfast, eyes darting to the fresh meat in the orange jumpsuit.

"Why hello there Neal" said a voice into Neal's ear. He flinched at the sudden noise, and turned to see a smiling Ryan Wilkes staring back at him.

What were the chances that Wilkes would be in the same prison? Many would find it to be an unfortunate coincidence but this was a supermax, and Neal forgot to see it coming.

"Wilkes." Neal said resentfully.

"Oh Neal, is that any way to greet an old friend?" Wilkes was still smiling.

"Hey, I'm just here to get my breakfast and go. So if you'll excuse me." Neal attempted to avoid Wilkes' gaze.

"Neal Neal Neal. I'm going to make your life a living hell. You don't have your Fed friend to save you anymore. And if you bother squealing, I'm telling you, there's more than enough of those betrayed by you ready to take my place."

Wilkes punched Neal in the gut and walked on his way. His hand gesturing 'I'll be watching you' as Neal bent down in pain.

The supermax was notorious for preventing escape, but not for protecting it's prisoners from each other. Neal was jumpy, dodging at shadows, fearful of not only Wilkes, but also the other cons that he had put away.

One year. One year until legal freedom. One whole year.

Neal was starting to regret taking the treasure.

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><p>Hope you like it! Please review! :)<p> 


	3. Chapter 2

_White Collar belongs to Jeff Eastin etc._

_There's some Neal whump in this chapter so be warned._

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><p><strong>Chapter 2<strong>

He assumed he'd be safe in his cell. With a pencil and paper, he could always find escape in his drawings. He sketched the FBI offices, remembering how simple life was, and how he ruined it all.

He ran it all in his head, this was never going to end happily. Ever since the warehouse explosion, there was no going back - it was either escape or ending back in prison - and he should have made preparations for escape from prison. A mistake on his part. He was a con and is still a con - he was never going to change, no matter how hard he tried to deceive himself.

But Neal had to turn to the situation at hand - staying alive was the game plan and he needed contacts to protect himself. Mozzie. And then there was the matter of escape. A year is a long time to be living in fear.

A call to Mozzie's burner phone left Neal with an encrypted message: "I can't help you Neal. I'm being watched."

He was on his own to get himself out of this mess.

It was all hopeless now.

**WCWCWCWC**

Neal wasn't going to let fear stand in his way - he would stand up to Wilkes, bluff his way through like he always did and hopefully live peacefully ever after for the next 12 months.

As Neal made his way to the dining hall, he was jumped by Wilkes and his gang.

"Neal Neal Neal. I was beginning to think that you were avoiding me. You're going to have to make it up for me." Wilkes whispered in his ear, followed by a strong kick to his stomach.

"Please, Wilkes, I just want to make peace." Neal begged.

"Now why did you ever peg me as a saint. I'm the devil and you know it. As I said Neal, I'm going to make your life a living hell."

"I've got money, treasure, anything you want..." His voice was breaking with fear, surrounded by the larger men.

"And I've got a life sentence... so that's of great use to me on the inside." Wilkes sneeringly replied. "Your pain is all I want. Begin." He signalled to his cronies.

He attempted to shield himself from the all blows impacting on him body, from their punches and kicks but it was all in vain. It seemed to last for an eternity. His screams for help were silenced by a blow to his jaw.

"Now you be quite Neal, otherwise I'll disfigure that pretty face of yours. And I'd hate to do that."

He started crying. It never seemed to stop. He fainted from the pain.

The guards didn't want to know anything about the attack - too much paperwork for someone who had already added so much more rules to their job. It was easier to just carry him back to his cell and say he had an early night. Every night.

Neal was a proud man. But every man has his breaking point.

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><p><em>Thanks everyone so far for reading. It's my first fanfiction so the chapters are a bit short - ideally, I could just merge them all but I like the idea of building suspense through chapters - sorry to leave you hanging! But there'll be some angsty action next chapter so hopefully you hang on until tomorrow.<em>

_I initially wrote this story with a certain plot in mind, but ended up getting too excited writing this back story to it, that it's now become a story on its own, and what I wanted to write has now become the sequel (which might end up being an one-shot anyway)._

_Addressing some concerns about the prologue: For those not interested in just another post-countdown story, I just used the post-countdown as a starting point for this story - in my mind, this could've happened at any point where Neal went behind Peter's back (through probably after Front Man haha). Also, maybe I'll explore the tense post-Countdown Neal-Peter relationship in another story, but for now, I sort of just overlooked it and it's definitely a bit generic with the trust issues. So rewriting the prologue is definitely on the cards :)_

_P.S I love Neal. Haha. Needed to declare that. It hurts me to hurt him :(_

_Thanks for reading!_


	4. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: White Collar belongs to Jeff Eastin_

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><p><strong>Chapter 3<strong>

The constant living in fear - Neal just couldn't stand it anymore. Only a month had passed by since he had gone back in, and there were still eleven more to go. He sat on the edge of his bed, crying silent tears, thinking of the future.

But he was the great Neal Caffrey! How could he break down like this - he'd been through so much worse. But the constant battering and threats. Mentally, he was strong, but physically, he could take no more. He could only stay in the infirmary for so long, and as soon as he'd get out, he'd be back in.

Neal just wanted to get out. He needed to make a plan. Find an escape route from this world. But he was on his own. No one to help him inside or outside. Alone in the world, and yet, at the same time, surrounded.

As he entered the exercise yard, he sighted Wilkes chatting with his crew, no doubt, planning what to do next to his battered body. He shuddered to think what was going through their heads. He saw the crew approaching him, cruel smiles painted upon their faces. It was the first time they they were going to attack him in broad daylight...

"Hey officer. Can you help me please? Those guys - "

"Shut your hole Caffrey. Money speaks louder than your words anyday." The guard shot a smile to Wilkes. This was not going to end well.

_He had one choice._

He played with the screw that he had dislodged from his metal bedframe, sliding it across his wrist. He liked the feel of the cold steel against his skin, but more, he liked the opportunities and freedom that it brought him.

The crew were getting closer.

_He had one choice._

He couldn't put himself through the pain again.

_He had one choice._

He thought of everyone that he had lost and betrayed.

_He had one choice._

He just wanted to escape from this world.

_He had one choice._

He had one decision. There was no going back now.

_He had one choice._

He had to set the only plan he had into motion.

_He had no choice._

_He snapped._

"Stay back!" Neal said as he grabbed the guard, aiming the screw at his neck. Wilkes and his crew stopped as one by one, the other guards rushed in.

"Stand down Caffrey!" the guards shouted, .

"Stay back!" Neal repeated "I'll kill him if I have to." Neal himself couldn't tell if it was him talking or all the adrenaline flowing through his veins. But he was deadly serious about what was happening. He knew the end game.

"What do you want Caffrey?"

"I want out! I want things to go back the way that they were! I want Wilkes transferred! I want it all to stop!" The pleadings of a desperate man.

"You know we can't do that. This can all end peacefully " The guards' guns were all aimed to Neal's head. Neal really hated guns. He pressed the screw closer to the guard's neck, drawing a yelp from the guard.

"Please, just do what he wants. I don't want to die! I have children!" screamed the guard in fear.

Neal had been backed into the corner, but still protected by his hostage. He had the upper hand, and smiled a little to himself. Sirens began to ring in the background as the rest of the inmates were herded back into their cells.

This would be a long night.

**WCWCWCWCWC**

"Caffrey! Don't make this hard on yourself." cried out the police negotiator.

"I can't take it anymore! I don't care if I go and I don't care if I take this guy with me!" Neal was growing increasingly panicked now, the adrenaline rushing through his veins at the magnitude of the situation.

"What do you want Caffrey?"

"I want Kate." The words escaped from Neal's mouth without his mind knowing. Inside, he knew that they could never give him Kate, but his heart still hoped. He found it hard to focus on the situation at hand, when the past was all that he could think about.

As much as the guards wanted to end this whole fiasco, there were news helicopters circling overhead, lights shining bright on the subject - they would surely all lose their jobs if they fired on a man armed only with a screw.

But how do you stop a man who won't see sense and whose only objective seemed to be to end his own life?

They needed backup.

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><p><em>Hope that you guys enjoyed reading that. Know that some of you have been waiting for this update. It only gets better.<br>_Oh wow 2000 hits. Thanks for reading! Love you guys! _Review if you liked it :) _


	5. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: White Collar belongs to Jeff Eastin  
>I've been sick so this update has come later than usual. Sorry about that!<em>

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><p><strong>Chapter 4<strong>

"Hey Hon. Yeah, I'll be home soon." Peter was on the phone to El, ready to leave the office before Diana walked into Peter's office, her face upset with worry. "Sorry El, I'll talk to you later."

"Boss. It's Caffrey." Her serious tone did not bode good news.

"Neal? He hasn't pulled another boneheaded escape has he?" Peter wouldn't be surprised if that happened, though Neal ought to have learnt that he was going to be caught. Peter was 3 and 0. Officially.

"Worse." Diana turned on the TV. They both turned to the scenes unfolding before them. The helicopters were circling around the black concrete of the prison exercise yard, their cameras centred on a prisoner holding a guard hostage.

"Neal. No." Peter could hardly speak. Blood had drained from his face. The sight was almost unbelievable. Neal had changed so much in the space of a month - his face was gaunt, accentuated by his unkempt hair and undoubtedly the pressure of the situation.

"They want you in there. They want you to talk him down." Diana saw the distress that the images had caused him.

"I haven't seen since he left." Peter thought about the last time he saw Neal, replaying it in his mind - he should have ended it better, he should've been less bitter. _Trust is a two way road._ He regretted saying that. It was his fault too - he should've trusted him - been the friend that Neal could confide in. _You're just a con. Goodbye Neal._ Just a con. He should never have said that.

Just a con.

"No. Neal wouldn't just do this. There's got to be a reason why Neal is doing this!" Peter knew Neal, and he knew him too well. Neal hadn't given him much reason to trust him on face value over the past few months but he still questioned whether it was right to be so suspicious of Neal. Maybe he wasn't lying when he said that he wanted to stay, that he had changed. But surely, surely there had to be an end plan... escape... Mozzie.

"Jones! What's the little guy been up to?" Whilst Peter hadn't been keeping tabs on Neal, he'd definitely had the FBI on Mozzie's tail. They knew that there was some of the treasure still missing, in particular, a missing Degas, and hoped eventually that it would surface.

"Absolutely clean. Neal called him once when he got inside but nothing since then. Made the Greatest Cake bakery quite successful too - you should try it someday." Jones replied.

"Something's not right. Neal's smart. I've got to get down there."

WCWCWCWCWCWC

"Why would Neal do this?" Peter quizzed the warden, a million theories running through his head. This was just another game to Neal. Playing cat and mouse - was Neal deliberately getting Peter involved? He had had enough of not knowing what Neal was up to, of always having to look after him, of always having to stop him before he did something stupid.

"I honestly don't know Burke. Neal's never caused any trouble before. Lots of early nights but nothing out of the ordinary. But now, he's just acting crazy" the warden replied, the phones running nonstop in the background.

"I've never seen Neal like this before." Peter peered out the window down to the scene playing down below. Police cars' flashing red and blue lights danced around a crowd of guards and cops, circling Neal and his hostage. "What does he want?"

"What every other prisoner in here wants – freedom. Things back the way they were." Sometimes Peter wanted that as well, to rewind the events of the past few months and for the deal to be back on. "You know we can't give him that!" the warden warned bluntly.

"I've chased him down a few times – I can always do it again. But I'm not willing to sacrifice another three years when we can stop him now."

"He also asked for someone called Kate. Maybe she could talk him down. Do you know who she is?" The name. No, Neal couldn't have possibly – was this some sort of message or was this Neal actually going crazy…

"Has he asked for anything else? Anything at all?" He promised himself that he would get to the bottom of this.

"He wanted Ryan Wilkes to be transferred from this prison."

"Wilkes?" Peter was in disbelief that at hearing that name. "Why would he…" But it clicked. "Oh Neal, what have you done…" He found the key to the puzzle that was Neal Caffrey.

"I need to see Neal."

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><p><em>What is Neal planning? How is Wilkes involved? Or is Peter reading too deeply into the situation? What do you think will happen next? Stay tuned. Update soon. Sorry for the cliffhangers. I've done so many that I've changed the genre to suspense. Haha.<br>I'm writing longer chapters just for you guys :) _But you'll know the full story soon :)_  
><em>_I love you readers. I also love reviews._


	6. Chapter 5

_White Collar belongs to Jeff Eastin and all those geniuses_

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><p><strong>Chapter 5<strong>

The standoff had gone on for five hours now and there seemed to be no end in sight to the commotion.

"Neal! Put the screw down!" said a familiar voice.

"Peter?" Neal replied to the darkness.

The blinding light obscured the man's face but Neal knew who it was. Memories began rushing back of events just weeks before. But what was Peter doing here? Peter was always the one person that could stop him.

"Yeah, it's me. What would make you pull this sort of dumb thoughtless plan?" Peter's anger was unintentional, edged on by the shock of the situation.

"Thoughtless plan? What plan Peter?"

Neal was surprised by the accusation – no matter how badly things ended, he thought that Peter would still be on his side, still at least a friend rather than an enemy. Could things really have changed that much within just a month?

"You've always got a plan, Neal. You've had since the first day I met you, the first day we made our deal…"

"Why can't you believe I've changed? Why do you always suspect me?"

"You're smart Neal! Why would you make a deal with the devil? Why would you do all this for Wilkes?"

Peter was getting caught in the emotion of the setting. Whether it was just facing Neal for the first time in a while or just catching Neal out before he made another stupid mistake.

"Wilkes? What's he got to do with this?" Neal was both surprised and shuddering at the mention of his name. It was the first time he had had a few hours without Wilkes playing on his mind. And now, his name came back to haunt him - and to strengthen his resolve.

"I know your plan Neal. I know that Wilkes wants your help to escape. Just like Keller took me hostage to get himself free. Just stop this now and we can make a deal, say that Wilkes coerced you. You won't be punished."

"I would never help that lowlife in a million years! Why won't you believe me? Trust me Peter!" Neal was breaking down, every word of distrust from Peter's mouth stabbing daggers into his already broken body. The accusations were too much to handle at a time like this.

"Trust? You've got to give me a reason to trust you. Don't do this Neal. You're smart. The Neal I used to know is still underneath there somewhere!" said Peter calmly, noticing Neal's deteriorating form, putting into action the years as a negotiator.

"Really? The Neal you knew has been crushed. Look at this! Look at me!" Neal unbuttoned his top and revealed his battered body. The guard light accentuated the purple and black bruises on his body.

"Oh Neal." Peter was shocked at the discovery.

Up until 10 minutes ago, Peter was still suspicious of Neal and his charade, wondering if there was another reason for his actions. Now, he felt an intense pity and shame that he had ever doubted Neal, that he had ever let this happen.

"Do you believe me now Peter? I just want to be free of this world! I can't live like this. I can't live anymore!"

The gravity of the situation hit Peter. This wasn't Neal plotting something, these were the threats of a man truly pushed to the edge. It was easier confronting Neal when he was seemingly planning something, than now, when Peter couldn't even think what stupid things Neal was planning to do.

Neal had done stupid things before, like almost shooting Fowler, but Peter had always been there to save him. But now, Peter wasn't sure if he could save him.

"Neal, just stop this." Peter pleaded, from one friend to another. Peter had stepped into the light now. Neal hesitated - it was the first time he had seen a friendly face in a while.

"Why? I've gone too far now to come back! They'll probably add a couple of years to my sentence. So what have I got to look forward to by stopping? Might as well end it all tonight!" Neal had really thought this through - the smart Neal was still there. The one that could be reasoned with.

"We can make a deal. You were under duress. Your sentence will stay the same. Come on, no one has to get hurt tonight."

"Can you promise me that?" Neal shot a look up to the warden's office. Despite threatening murder (and in turn, suicide) for the past few hours, Neal was still seemingly rational.

"Look at me Neal. This isn't who you are. Don't do this."

"You don't know me anymore! I don't even know myself anymore!" Neal shouted in despair.

"I know you Neal and I know you're going to regret this for the rest of your life Neal!"

Neal faltered, shocked at the thought that Peter still believed in him - maybe there was hope yet. He looked in Peter's eyes - they really did care.

In his moment of reflection, his concentration dropped, his grip loosened on the officer, who took his opportunity to run to freedom.

Neal was irritated. He had lost his shield.

The thoughts of a desperate man with nothing to protect him.

Nothing to stop him going ahead.

Neal had snapped again.

"Go ahead! Kill me then! I've got nothing left! You've got your man!" Neal shouted like a madman.

Emotion was driving Neal now, closer and closer to the edge.

"Neal, don't!"

Neal was coming closer and closer to ending it all. And Peter felt helpless to stop him

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><p><em><strong>I hoped you liked that chapter - I had an interesting time writing it.<strong>_  
><em><strong>What will Neal do? Will he end it all? Can Peter pull him back from the edge?<br>It all ends next chapter so stick around!**_  
><em><strong>5000 views. Wow. Thanks for reading guys!<br>I will definitely update soon - don't want to leave you guys hanging too long!  
>And as always, please review if you liked it :)<strong>_


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Peter was summoned back from the front line, an attempt to leave Neal to calm down after their encounter. If he wasn't already frustrated at the incompetence of the prison administration, the last hour had definitely left him incredibly annoyed.

This situation should never have happened. He felt partly responsible for Neal's situation, for not visiting him once in prison, for not even keeping tabs on him this time. Neal had the decency to send him birthday cards in the mail, but Peter just couldn't find the courage to do the same.

"Burke." said the warden, calmly acknowledging his presence.

"I should be out there, not in here! He's about to kill himself!"

"We need to talk."

"Damn right! Why didn't you tell me about Wilkes? Surely it's important in a situation like this!" Peter was fuming, seething… his rage indescribable.

"It happens all the time in prison. If there were something wrong, then he would've complained. And if he complained, well, then I'd tell you. But honestly, he seemed fine."

"Well he doesn't SEEM fine now! Those injuries did not SEEM fine! It's your fault we're in this position! Your fault that Neal Caffrey is about to kill himself! Once this is over, you're going down. You have my word."

Peter didn't often make threats, but when he did, they were not to be taken lightly. Especially when this one mistake threatened the life of his friend. A friend… not a con, not just a consultant, Neal was his friend.

"Burke, surely we can work something else once all this ends." He gave Peter a wink, who shot back a menacing stare. "But, here and now, this here, this situation, this is all becoming a farce – we've got to end it. It's gone on too long. I've got snipers in place if anything happens, as well as people on the ground. Either talk him down or we'll take him out."

"Isn't that a little bit extreme? I can talk him down."

"You've seen Caffrey. He's not in his right mind. I don't know whether he's going to hurt himself or attack you…"

_Attack you_.

Peter had never considered that Neal might harbour some hate towards him, for sending him back to prison. But he felt confident that Neal would never… but then again, this wasn't a Neal he knew.

WCWCWCWCWCWC

Peter stood at the door leading back to the prison yard, unsure of what to do, unsure of what to say to Neal, feeling utterly helpless at the whole situation. He wished that he could give Neal a 'get out of a jail free card' but this was the real world, not another game of Monopoly. How much he would give to go back to those days.

He felt like banging his head on the steel door. He thoughts all stained with regret now. _What an idiot! You might as well have pushed him in front of a truck. What sort of friend suspects them of planning something when they're threatening suicide…_

Peter was hyperventilating now.

He didn't deserve to be called Neal's friend.

There was only one way to redeem himself.

He had to calm down.

He had to stop him.

He had to save him.

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><p><strong><em>I'll just leave you hanging here. <em>_Haha. No.  
><em>_The last chapter is next. __How will it all end?  
>Can Peter save Neal? <em>**


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Peter entered the lion's den that was the exercise yard, knowing full well the consequences that would happen if he didn't succeed. He just had to succeed.

"He hasn't calmed down yet. Take this earpiece – it'll tell you if anything is happening and if you need to get out of the way." The leading guard warned him, he too was tired of the whole fiasco and wanted it over.

Peter found Neal still standing in the same corner that he'd left him, screw still dangerously close to his neck. For a while he had been just staring the steel screw, rolling it between his fingers whilst its tip wavered around the side of his neck.

Endless possibilities. Only one escape that Neal really wanted right now.

"Neal."

Neal raised his head to see that Peter had returned. He was filled with mixed emotions – content that Peter was back, that he wanted to save him; but still angry that he had accused him of all those things, that he still didn't trust him.

"Peter. Don't think that you can talk me down." But somewhere deep down inside Neal wanted Peter to succeed, to talk him down. But he had to keep to his resolve.

"Come on, what happened to the smart Neal? The one that would just cowboy up." He hoped that he was talking to the Neal that he could reason with.

"He's gone!"

Peter's hopes were dashed.

"I know you're still there! I know you still want to be here!"

"I can't live like this anymore!"

Neal held the screw closer to his neck. Tears were now streaming down Neal's face. He always told himself that he had one choice from the beginning but now it was too difficult to go through with his plan. Especially with Peter there.

_End it all._

"Neal, calm down. Just think about the years we spent together. How good we were."

"Yeah, and look how that ended! You don't even trust me!"

Neal's words were met with deafening silence. Peter had no response. The words cut deep into Peter but he knew that there was some ounce of truth in what Neal had said. He wished that they weren't true. He felt Neal slipping away from his grasp. The situation was more hopeless than ever.

"Fine. If not me, think about Mozzie. Alex. Sara. Everyone. You know we'd miss you."

_End it all._

Neal was now slumping against the wall, silent, his blue eyes glazed with blinding tears; he could only make out Peter's silhouette now. He thought about everyone, everyone who had helped him out over the years.

Mozzie. Mozzie who helped him become the person who he was.

Alex. He loved having fun with Alex. She knew him for who he truly was. Behind all the facades and aliases.

Sara. Oh how much he loved Sara. And she loved him too. Even if he was a con.

Everyone he cared for.

Everyone important in his life.

But he wouldn't see them again. He wouldn't get out of jail any time soon. They'd forget all about him.

Everyone who… everyone who had abandoned him now he was in prison again.

_End it all._

"They don't even care about me! You don't even care!" Neal had started again. His hand was shaking even more than ever, dancing around the large blood vessel in his neck.

_End it all._

Kate always cared. Kate was always there.

_End it all._

"I do care! Neal, I want to help you. I can help you!"

"Help me? Can you bring back Kate? This is the only way to escape from Wilkes, these guards, even from myself! This is the only way!"

_End it all._

Neal began sinking into his own world, dimming out the sounds of the sirens, helicopters and above all, Peter's pleas. He became ever too aware of his heartbeat, pounding against his chest, his whole body shaking along. Warm sweat was trickling down his forehead, mixing in with his tears. His legs were beyond tired, straining to keep him upright for the past few hours. His arms even worse. He was just exhausted, fed up with everything. Tired of all the antics.

_End it all._

Neal had to end it all. It was the only way. The plan from the start. Just take the last step. One last look. The screw felt sharper than ever now, the metal cold against his flesh. Inches away.

_End it all._

"I've got the shot" Peter heard in his ear.

"No! Don't!" Peter shouted, reacting to both Neal and the voice in his ear.

"Peter! I just want it all to be over! I just want it to stop! Take me to Kate, Peter. Take me to Kate." Neal cried out. He wanted the show to be over.

_End it now!_

"Back away, Burke!"

Neal lifted his arm back, ready to end it all.

"Neal!"

It was like everything was moving in slow motion.

A whole rush of noise.

Shouts.

Screams.

Peter didn't know what was happening.

Guards began running in from all sides.

"Neal! Neal!"

Someone grabbed at Peter's arms, attempting to usher him out from the scene, but he resisted, trying to find his friend, trying to fight for him, trying to save him.

All he could hear was Neal screaming loud in agony, his view blocked by the guards. In the commotion, he didn't know whether a shot had gone off or not. As his made his way through, he saw Neal, slumped on the ground, lying sprawled, weakened.

Two silver lines in Neal's jumpsuit led back to the officer that Neal had previously threatened. Revenge painted a wide smile of the officer's face.

Peter moved in, cradling the fragile Neal in his arms, tears were now flowing down Peter's face.

"Oh Neal, if anything had ever happened to you…" Peter whispered to Neal, who opened his eyes and acknowledged Peter with a small nod of his head.

Neal looked so helpless now, so weak.

"You saved me Peter."

In this moment Neal was happy. It was like things were back to normal. It was just a moment of comfort before he'd have to face the harsh consequences of his actions. He didn't want to move.

Peter just wanted to stay there forever, and hold him, tell him that everything would be alright, that he'd be there to protect him if anything happened. Neal was still shaking. He looked like he was fighting himself in a nightmare. Peter wished that he could just tell him that a bad dream. But this was reality.

Peter was pushed away as the guards grabbed Neal up roughly. Neal was too tired to resist, to even cry at the pain of the guards' hold. A weird sort of smile arose on Neal's face as he was dragged away.

Neal was done.

It was over.

**WCWCWCWCWC**

He was that close to taking the easy way out.

He was that close to pushing the screw in.

But he didn't.

He carried through.

He played the role well.

His planned had worked.

Neal wasn't expecting Peter to turn up or it to go that far, but Neal knew, you've always got to flexible with your plans. In fact, it was probably Peter who saved him from an extended sentence for the whole fiasco. That and his Oscar winning performance starring as 'a man pushed too far'.

No one suspected a thing.

He'd even conned himself into believing that he would do it.

Solitary. For the rest of his term.

Once a con, always a con. ;)

* * *

><p><strong><em>Now you didn't expect that did you? Neal and I have been planning this all along ;)<br>_****_You can go back and read it again and you might spot some clues that it was all an act. But saying that, it was definitely becoming way too true for Neal._**

**_Thank you so much for reading. Thanks for the faves and alerts. Lots and lots of love.  
><em>****_You guys inspired me to add so much more to the story._**

**_If you guys enjoyed or liked the story, please review!_**

**_P.S. It's my birthday party today! Yay! It's my birthday tomorrow. Yay! And then White Collar is back the next day! Party time!_**

**_Next chapter is the epilogue, _****_which is sort of the first chapter for the sequel. The story that I initially planned to write but then got sidetracked writing the back story - Back In. Haha._**


	9. Epilogue

**Epilogue **

Solitary. For the rest of his term.

At least this guaranteed him protection from Wilkes and his crew, and the guards who were surely not going to be on his side now. The scene had caused an overhaul of procedures at the prison regarding inmate disputes, which involved doing a lot more paperwork.

But he didn't get out that easy either. A week under observation, a long series of psychiatric tests examining whether he remained a danger or not, the classic white straitjacket which Neal could easily get himself out of whenever he wanted to stretch his arms or scratch his nose.

Neal just played along with the process. He found it quite amusing how confused the doctors were at his case, finding that there was nothing at all suicidal about him, despite his 12 hour standoff with the guards.

To be honest, Neal was lucky to still only have 11 months left on his sentence - the charges of deprivation of freedom and assaulting a police officer were only thrown out with Peter's help.

Peter. Well at least he knew Peter actually cared. That he would be there to catch him if he actually fell for real. That he didn't harbour an intense hatred for him. Maybe even visit him – if you could even visit people in solitary.

Solitary.

Reality.

The room was small by all means - room enough for a small single bed and a combination sink-toilet and that was it. Barely any room to walk around between the four grey concrete walls and metal door that surrounded him. The only light came from a high window above his bed and every so often when the food slot opened.

Only a day went by before Neal realised that maybe he had not thought it through. Neal had always been a people person, and now there was no one. Maybe he made the wrong choice. Life was dangerous with Wilkes around but now...

Now, he was alone with his thoughts.

And alone with his thoughts was a dangerous place to be.

What had Neal got himself into…

* * *

><p><em><strong>Thanks so much for reading it all.<br>****I was really happy writing this for you guys!**_

_**Again, if you guys enjoyed the story, please review :)**_

_**I will eventually write this sequel – if you want, subscribe to author alerts and you'll be the first to know when it comes out :)**_


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